i’m 18 i can go to strip clubs and buy cigarettes and buy m rated games without my mom hell yeah
You used to go to strip clubs with your mom?
my grandpa has a date tonight and hes really old and in a wheelchair and has to drag around this breathing machine but hes just sitting there waiting for the hospice shuttle to take him to pick up his date and he looks suPER EXCITED and its the cutest thing ive ever seen
update he came home and i asked him how it went and he said, “i should have taken an extra tank of oxygen because she took my BREATH AWAY”
THATS SO CUTE SEND HELP
I’m going to get a dog and name it “my boyfriend” so when people ask me what I’m doing, I can say ,”cuddling my boyfriend.”
"what are you doing"
"picking up my boyfriend’s poop"
I can’t help it he’s lazy
how do we even decide what our favorite colors are, are our brains just like “i like green because yea”
“is there a problem officer?” “yes actually, lots of problems” *hands u my math homework*
do you ever get in one of those moods where you’re like feeling okay but you’re really sad at the same time and you just want to talk to someone and make them hug you but you feel annoying so you kind of just sit there being really sad
obama like how u gonna play me like dat????
he’s mad cause he got caught before he pushed the button